Just a brief blog about how my shoulder surgery is going. Did it last Thursday on outpatient basis. Went back Friday for follow-up & was told I couldn't drive for...3 weeks! Mostly because of the Oxycodone I guess. Plus an arm in a sling. Ummm...I basically drive for a living? Maybe you could of told me this before? Oh well...I'm driving anyways...
And I'm just going to put this out there...I gave myself an enema this morning. I know, I know...TMI. But my predicament was just so bizarre I have to share.
Went through the weekend taking my Oxy & keeping the pain down. But come Monday morning I have to get out & do some work. Remember my "well oiled machine" blog? Well these damn Oxy's have me in a bind...and I mean that literally. OK, suck it up...no more Oxy...have to work...will hopefully do my business later. After work we go to CVS and I have Kbo buy stool softener pills while I stand next to her pretending they're not for me. OK...tomorrow morning it's go time!
But...it wasn't. I wake up early & have coffee & go to the bathroom and....nada. Somehow my surgeon neglected to mention that anesthesia & Oxy might lock up my sphincter like day old play-doh. And now I am in real trouble! And real pain. My tummy hurts way worse than my shoulder. So I start walking around the basement doing painful laps...trying to get something going. Nothing. By now Kbo is up and I finally have to yell for her to help...no not anything gross but to race to the store for some help! While I lay groaning on the bedroom floor she zips back to CVS.
You can skip this part if you want but it's funny. She brings me 2 different types of enema...I choose the oilier of the two for obvious lubrication purposes. I chase Kbo out of the room, get nekkid, put towels on the floor, and get down on all fours. But see...since my left shoulder & arm are in searing pain I can't use them. So I'm actually a tripod with 2 knees and my face...with my good hand ramming an applicator up my butt while trying to squeeze in the lubricant at the same time. Oh the picture this conjers...
Long story short...after a few repeated attempts & nearly sliding off the toilet because of my oily butt I finally achieved some small victory...enough to let me feel a little better, shower, and attempt work. I hope tomorrow morning goes better...
