Recently I bought a new truck. My old truck was needing substantial repairs & it just made economic sense to trade it & get a new one. My new truck came with 3 months Sirius XM, who I already had an account with for a few years because I had a portable Sirius unit (that's what she said) that I would move from my truck to Karans car. I enjoy satellite radio & since I'm in my truck so much I decided to renew for another 6 months, so I mailed them a check for $30. I noticed yesterday morning that it had cleared my bank so I figured everything was good...
Not so fast, Babu...
Whilst driving along yesterday my Sirius cut off & the message on the screen said "subscription cancelled." What thee hell I think...I just saw that my check cleared with them. So with my cell phone I call the number scrolling across the screen. Oh....my.....God.....I was connected to "John." Lets just say that John probably wasn't his real name & he didn't live anywhere near the Sirius XM corporate office park. And it became painfully clear that John was new at this. Following is the official transcript of our conversation. Johns part will be played by that kid in Slumdog Millionaire. My part will be played by George Clooney...
John: How can I be of helping you today?
Me: I just renewed my Sirius & it was cut off today...
John: I will be very sorry for your inconvenience & will hope to service you. What is your name, phone number, address, radio ID, account number, mothers maiden name, shoe size & birth date?
Me: Blah, blah, 2342, Florida, etc.
John: Please hold.
~~~~~~~smooth jazz~~~~~~~~
Now I am not a particular fan of smooth jazz, especially while I am driving down a busy road with my cell phone glued to my ear while trying not to crash. But after 6 minutes...
John: I have been seeing that you have two accounts with us?
Me: Yes, my new truck & my previous account for my old Sirius unit.
John: This is the truck which you drive concurrently?
Me: Yes...you see I bought a new....
John: Hold please...
~~~~~~~~~~smooth jazz~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By now my arm is starting to cramp & my ear is sweating...whether from the hot cell phone or the smooth jazz melting my brain I'm not sure. After 8 minutes...
John: We will not see that you have made a payment. Can you provide a receipt?
Me: A receipt? When I send a check for my car payment for instance, they don't send me a receipt. Do you mean a cancelled check?
John: Hold please...
~~~~~~~~~smooth fucking jazz~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John: I was sorry to be for putting you on hold, I had needs to check with my supervisor. Yes, we would require a copy of your check from your bank for verification of your payments...
Me: Sigh.....OK John, where do I send it?
John: Hold please...
~~~~~~~~~smooth son of a bitch horn playing stick that sax up your ass I am flying to Mumbai John & I will kill you fucking jazz~~~~~~~~
I could go on & on...but I think you get the drift. After a 30 minute cell phone conversation with India, I have to prove to them that I paid my bill. My blood pressure was up about 80 points & I had this strange compulsion to strangle Kenny G. In all fairness, John did temporarily turn my Sirius back on...so when I track him down I will be gentle...
Sorry about the cussing...but it was required for authenticity...
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