I might have phone envy...

 


This...is my phone.It is an I530 Nextel from Motorola.


It is also a dinosaur from about the Cretaceous period. My boss pays for this phone so...this is my phone. When I got this phone lo those many years ago I remember thinking...this is a phone AND A WALKIE TALKIE! Unbelievable technology! Being a salesman in the Millwork industry, this was state of the art. Beep Beep, I need some more doors. But now, I'm feeling a little left out. My customers are saying "c'mon man, I can't even text you on that damn thing." And they're right, because my boss doesn't pay for texting. He has a laptop AND an IPad but he doesn't see the need for texting. Did I mention I work for a very old school family business, which through hard work and GREAT SALESMEN has become a major player in the area. They got money...

But then I think of where I started...

I became a salesman in the 80's. No...not the 1880's. Back then, if you wanted to reach me you called my office. Then I would call my office to check to see if you called my office. Then I would call your office, if I wasn't playing golf. Oh those carefree days! Sometimes I was deliriously out of reach. But I knew where every phone booth was in a 20 mile radius. I'm not even going to explain what a phone booth is to you kids...go look it up.




 But then came these...the beeper.
 And then it was on. I could no longer hide from my customers, or my boss. Beep Beep the damn thing would go. Drive Drive I would go to a phone booth, usually missing the person because they stepped out to smoke or something. That is, if the phone booth actually had a working phone. It was maddening sometimes BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! But, at least my communication was a little better than before...





 But then I got this...a bag phone!
 I was Mac Daddy Warbucks coming down the road...talking on a damn telephone! Who ever heard of such a thing? I held one pinkie in the air as I pretended to talk to the Sultan of Oman...or Frank the pesky trim carpenter, who needed more baseboard. I sent you enough...what are you, a beaver?! I could lord over my friends..."Yeah, I'm just cruising down the road & thought I'd give you a ring. Yes, in my car. No, I'm not rich but I do all right etc. etc." I was a King among men...


But then the damnable cell phone showed up, and every Tom, Dick & Mary had a mobile phone. And that's what archeologists will point to as the down fall of our civilization.

Instant communication. People driving around with a phone in one hand a hamburger in the other, driving with their knees. Bobbing & weaving around in their lane. I'm old school...I keep one hand on the wheel & the other on my beer. I'm not going to drive around dangerously...

And now...this. The smart phone. But not smart enough to keep you from getting killed in your car while you're texting your bestie about which hair style Justin Bieber looks hotter in.

But, I must admit...I do get a bit envious. When I'm with a group of friends & they're all laughing & talking while looking at movie trailers or Charlie Sheen's latest rant, sometimes I'll flip open my Nextberry and pretend I'm texting my next multi-million dollar deal while secretly hoping I just didn't place a call to Singapore. When I look at my screen though, it just says NEXTEL, with the time & the day...which is very useful information for me because quite often I don't know...either.

So...that is my personal journey in the evolution of talking on a device that is not a rotary phone. And besides, Karan has an IPhone...which she might let me use when she's not tending her Zombie Farm...