Apparently some of you people need a refresher...
1. If you are the next in line at Subway & you are talking on the phone & slowing things down you must forfeit your turn & move back 3 spaces. And be happy we don't smack you upside the head...
2. If you are in line at Subway & you are buying subs for everyone in your office park all custom-like...you must pronounce this as soon as you enter so all us single sub buying decent people can get in front of you. And since you're always on that damn phone, try calling your order in...
3. We don't care what Burger King says...have it their way & quit holding up the damn drive thru. If you don't like onions, pick them off as you're driving down the road & fling them at the homeless or something...
4. Speaking of Subway...did you notice the little railing they have to keep the line orderly & parallel to their counter? Please keep that in mind when:
5. You are standing in line at 7/11. For Gods sake don't start lining up away from the counter towards the coolers. People coming in have to walk around your stoopit ass to get to the Slurpee machine. And don't just hover in some vague place...establish a strong leadership position as the next-in-line person...and quit shouting to your bestie on the phone about Bruno Mars. WE DO NOT CARE. HANG UP & PAY ATTENTION.
6. And God forbid they open two registers. I have seen peoples IQ's drop by 50 points when this happens. Don't panic...calmly stake a position somewhere in between the two registers near & parallel to the counter. People will notice your anchor & line up appropriately behind you.
7. Yesterday I saw this slack jawed moron set the anchor somewhere between the cash registers &... Brazil. Yes...in South America. By choosing this nebulous position, all the rest of us had to line up behind this idiot like dull witted sheep. And then the newer people who came in start lolling around closer to the registers & we have to shoot daggers at them with our eyes. "I will cut your liver out if you attempt to get in front of me" we are all thinking. DON'T BE THE MORON.
8. If you pay for a 49 cent pack of gum with a debit card, each person behind you gets one free kick to your groinal area. Keep some spare change in your ashtray like the rest of us...
9. Keep close to the person in front of you. Do not allow large gaps to occur. Put on your shirt & wear some deodorant. Your bodily funk should not detract from my chicken biscuit...
10. If you are buying lottery tickets.........just don't.
Can't we all just get along...?
there's nothing wrong with lotto. it's the jackass who wants a hundred dollars of them in all denominations as he attempts to perform quantum physics in his brain so as to attempt the highest odds of striking it rich
ReplyDeletePlease call this in to the newspapers. Oh wait! They can't read, can they?
ReplyDelete